Just One of Those Days

"Not every relationship lasts a lifetime, but we will always have a lifetime of relationships."

I am a firm believer that everything in our life happens for a reason. That each person that enters our life serves a purpose... some only stay for a short period of time and others stay much longer serving a greater impact upon us. Each person and experience changes us in some way shape or form along our journey. It has become even more clear to me that it isn't the number of friends you have that matters but it is the quality of the friends you do have. Many have left my life during the struggle of my marriage and now pending divorce. A lot of times I feel very alone and I grieve the loses of some of these people. But then I am lucky enough to have someone show up just the the right time to show me I am not as alone as I think and there are people who care.

I think most mothers question their abilities at times. Lately I feel like a juggler with far too many balls and to few hands to keep them all going. My nerves are shot and patience run thin. I wonder if I couldn't be doing so much better at mothering my children than I am. There are days that I am so overwhelmed I overlook the little beautiful blessings i should be cherishing. Because as every parent knows time goes by far too quick. I try to remind myself I am human and to keep my priorities in line but it has been a real struggle lately. I just hope someday my children will understand and forgive me for my short comings as a single mother.

Today was just one of those overwhelming days... one that reminds me of the saying "i try to take one day at a time but sometimes several attack me all at once." Difficult days make me question a lot about myself and my parenting. It allows the hurt to creep in and the uncertainty the rear its ugly head. So tonight I am hoping to go to bed and sleep all this off and wake up feeling more positive. After all... all we can really do is take one day at a time and do the best we can.